In case you couldn’t tell by my lack of posting, shit has hit the fan over here. I’m scrambling to put finishing touches on projects and research papers, and trying my best to refrain from using inappropriate language when I get upset or frustrated. The end is in sight, so close I can almost taste it. But unfortunately, the end being in sight means my anxiety has quadrupled and, as a result, I’ve morphed into a complete nutcase who binge eats dark chocolate, tortilla chips, and caramel covered popcorn. At the same time.
As if luring me from this place wasn’t enough, the massive amount of school work has also managed to sabotage my diet and fitness regimen. What used to be chock full of fresh fruits and vegetables now consists of junk food. Lots of it.* And don’t even get me started on the fact that I don’t remember the last time I picked up the dumbbells in my spare room.** That’s how lazy I’ve become – I cannot even be bothered to lift in the comfort of my own home.
My pants like to remind me of what this type of neglect will do to a body. Little do they know, I have a secret stash of jeans for moments like this; moments that would have previously resulted in a meltdown of sorts. You know, like me throwing every pair of pants I own out of my fourth story window. Or shoveling spoonfuls of homemade cookie dough ice cream into my face while crying to the tune of Kate Winslet telling Leonardo DiCaprio she’ll never let go. But now? Now I just give my skinnies the middle finger and pull out my boyfriend jeans. Otherwise known as the jeans that were made for fat days. Or weeks. Months? I’m not judging.
*My version of junk food isn’t really junk food. I don’t want you to picture me eating corn dogs or donuts or any other stuff that is worthy of being called junk. Peanut butter is hardly junk, but I consider it so when half the jar gets eaten in one day.
Oh, that thing up there? I call it lazy girl peanut butter cookie pie. It’s the result of pressing the dough into a 6″ cake pan then pouring melted chocolate (1/4 cup chocolate chips + 1 teaspoon coconut oil) over top. It’s good. You should make it.
Notes: Any type of flaked grain will work in this recipe – so far, I’ve made the cookies with kamut and quinioa. If you want to turn these into protein cookies, omit 1/2 cup of the oats and add 1/3 cup of your favorite protein powder. Cacao powder would be good, too. Every once in a while I’ll throw in a handful of cacao nibs or a pinch of cinnamon. If your dates aren’t fresh, you’ll want to soak them in water for 15-20 minutes to soften them up.
LAZY GIRL PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES
2 cups rolled oats
Pinch of fine sea salt
10 medjool dates
1/2 cup natural peanut butter
6 tbsp nut milk
In a food processor fitted with the S blade, blend the oats and sea salt into a fine meal. Add the dates and peanut butter; blend for 30-45 seconds. Add the nut milk and pulse just until combined. Using a small cookie scoop, drop the dough onto a flat surface lined with parchment paper. Press a fork into the tops, then freeze for 15 minutes to set. Refrigerate in an air tight container for up to two weeks. Cookies will keep in freezer for months.
Yield: 2 dozen