S’mores ice cream

S'mores ice cream

Wake up at 4:16AM, go back to sleep. Wake up exactly 45 minutes later, roll over and accidentally knee Thom in the ribcage. Don’t apologize because he’s asleep and what difference would it make, anyway? Scoot a little closer. Get out of bed before he realizes you just dug your bony knees into his ribcage on purpose. And didn’t apologize. Strip off your pajamas on your way out. Redress while simultaneously searching for your running shoes in the dark. Find them with your nose because they smell that bad. It’s a shame your watch doesn’t stink, too. Leave without it. Who cares about timing splits, anyway?  Kiss Thom before you leave. Hurry down six flights of stairs and emerge into the stillness of the early morning. Make a mental note to run at 5AM more often. Head for the trail. Turn around when you realize there’s a cluster of homebums smoking on the ramp. Head for the highlands, up half mile hills and sidewalks that needed repairing last summer. Run fast and hard. Flip off the Porche driving douche bag who tried to roll through a stop sign at 6AM because he thinks he’s the only one awake at this hour and HEY ASSWAD! CAN’T YOU SEE I’M WORKING ON MY FITNESS? Like Fergie. Remove douche bag from your vocabulary. And while you’re at it, use the word fuck less often. Head for the finish line. Which also happens to be the entrance to your building. Jog in place until your heart rate lowers. Momentarily forget the passcode and then remember it’s the last four digits of your phone number.

DUH

Wait much too long for the elevator at 6AM. SERIOUSLY, WTF? Roll your eyes at the man who gets off, with an enormous dog, because what kind of selfish prick keeps an 80 pound canine in their downtown loft? Think about how maybe the douche bag Porche driver and prick with the big ass dog should be friends in real life. What happened to removing douche bag from your vocabulary? Off the elevator. Burpee hop down the hall if you want a treat. Walk through the front door, kick off you shoes and refuse to believe that unpleasant stench is radiating from your lowest of extremities. (Sadly, it is.) Pull an ice cream cone from the fridge, dig in and think to yourself:

Today is going to be awesome.

ChocolateThe good stuffSuga suga suga conesS'mores ice creamS'mores ice creamS'mores ice creamS'mores ice creamLeftover s'mores cones

Notes: If you’re really into the flavor of graham crackers, I recommend skipping the mix-ins and just savoring the grahammy goodness. As for the mix-ins, you can add as much or as little as you prefer. I like chunky ice cream so I went kind of heavy on everything. I found the vegan graham crackers at Whole Foods but many other stores have off brand names that are plain and vegan. Also, I used the full sheets (four crackers per sheet). The xanthan gum is optional, but will prevent the formation of ice crystals – so I highly recommend it. You can also substitute one tablespoon of potato starch if you don’t have xanthan gum on hand. If you can get your hand on some vegan marshmallow cream, stir that into the base instead of the graham cracker crumbs – you won’t be sorry. If you don’t have an ice cream maker, follow these instructions via David Lebovitz.

S’MORES ICE CREAM

4 plain graham crackers
3 1/2 cups full fat coconut milk (2 cans)
1/4 cup cane sugar
2 tsp pure vanilla extract
1/4 tsp xanthan gum, optional

Mix-ins
3 plain graham crackers, broken into pieces
1/2 cup vegan marshmallows, chopped
1/4 cup good quality dark chocolate chunks, coarsely chopped

In a food processor fitted with the S blade, blend the graham crackers into a fine meal; set aside. Add the coconut milk to a large saucepan set over medium heat. Whisk in the sugar, vanilla extract, and xanthan gum (if using). Bring to a boil, cook for one minute, then remove from heat and whisk in the graham cracker crumbs. Transfer mixture to a large bowl and let cool on the counter for 30 minutes. Cover with plastic wrap so that the wrap is touching the ice cream mixture – this will ensure a skin doesn’t form. Refrigerate until cool, 2-3 hours.

Once chilled, pour the mixture into the bowl of your ice cream machine and mix according to the manufacturer’s instructions. After 20 minutes, add the graham cracker pieces, marshmallows, and chocolate chunks and let the ice cream maker work it’s magic. Eat ice cream immideately (it will be somewhat soft) or transfer to a container and freeze until ready to consume. Thaw for 10-15 minutes before serving. Top with crushed graham crackers (or all of the mix ins) if desired.

For the fancy sugar cone cones, melt 1/2 cup of chocolate chunks and 2 teaspoons of coconut oil in a double boiler over medium heat. Dip each cone then roll in crushed graham crackers. Should be enough for 12 cones. Chill for 10 minutes.

*Instead of storing the ice cream in a container, I scooped all of the leftovers into the cones, froze them standing upright (for one hour), then individually wrapped each cone in parchment paper and stored them in a freezer safe container. Let them thaw for about 20 minutes and you’ll be golden.

Yield: about 1 quart

  • Holly @ EatGreatBEGreat June 13, 2013 at 5:41 AM

    Mmmmmm…sounds sooooo good! I could go for some right now! ;-)

  • Tieghan June 13, 2013 at 6:18 AM

    S’mores ice cream pretty much just rules all!

  • Kathryn June 13, 2013 at 6:40 AM

    I’m pretty sure that the prospect of one of these is the only way I’m going to get out of bed to go running at 5am…

  • Eileen June 13, 2013 at 6:40 AM

    You are so funny! And this ice cream looks phenom! Thanks for sharing!

    http://sagebrushgazette.blogspot.com/

  • Joy// For the Love of Leaves June 13, 2013 at 7:58 AM

    I would like a cone in my hand right now. This looks so good! I also really appreciated the story of your morning. Ha!

  • Imen June 13, 2013 at 8:26 AM

    Divinity.
    And, that wooden scoop? Holy crapalappa.
    Loving your blog! x

  • Melissa // The Fauxmartha June 13, 2013 at 8:44 AM

    Next year. When I move to Denver. (Fingers crossed.) Can we be friends? And will you teach me how to see through the camera the way you do? PS—love your chocolate chunk choice. Whole Foods?

    • Ashlae June 13, 2013 at 8:53 AM

      I’ve gotta feeling we’re gonna become gooooood friends ;) And I can’t remember where I got the chunks, but they’re Scharffen Berger.

  • kulsum@journeykitchen.com June 13, 2013 at 8:57 AM

    this is so good and love that wooden scoop xo

  • thelittleloaf June 13, 2013 at 9:36 AM

    I love your fancy dipped cones! Does the coconut flavour come through strongly in the ice cream?

  • kels June 13, 2013 at 11:17 AM

    You’re so fergalicious. ;)
    ps. this is how I feel today about you leaving me in 15 days. http://bit.ly/11dNBcQ
    pps. sorry I leave trashy comments on your pretty site.
    ppps. love ya.

  • Jocelyn (Grandbaby Cakes) June 13, 2013 at 11:50 AM

    That is seriously one awesome looking ice cream cone packed with unbelievable flavor.

  • Abby @ The Frosted Vegan June 13, 2013 at 12:48 PM

    Gorgeous gorgeous as usual, get your run on girl!

  • Carrie June 13, 2013 at 2:16 PM

    You’re my favorite (double favorite for the Fergie reference). I wished we closer so I could have an early morning running buddy to eat ice cream for breakfast with.

  • Christina @ Sweet Lavender Bake Shoppe June 13, 2013 at 2:20 PM

    Yeaaaaaah baby!

  • Embla June 13, 2013 at 2:26 PM

    I love your writing! <3

    This recipe sounds awesome, I will definitely try it! I've just been doing the banana ice cream thing, but this sounds so much more indulgent. :)

    By the way, just curious, why is it bad for someone to have a big dog in their downtown loft? I grew up in the suburbs and need to be enlightened about such things. hehe

  • Lan | morestomach June 13, 2013 at 2:33 PM

    what is the purpose of heating up/cooking the coconut milk? i’m wondering if this step can be skipped at all?

    • Ashlae June 13, 2013 at 3:25 PM

      To dissolve the sugar. You can skip it, if you’d like – but you’ll have gritty ice cream.

  • sara forte June 13, 2013 at 4:30 PM

    ok these are just the cutest thing. Also. You are a genius. I’ve been making coconut milk ice cream and trying to figure out what non-dairy item I can add to keep it from getting so icy hard. Apparently now I am to the market for xan. gum or potato starch. A million thank yous!!

  • Chung-Ah | Damn Delicious June 13, 2013 at 4:36 PM

    Okay this may just be the best ice cream flavor EVER!

  • Shannon June 13, 2013 at 6:34 PM

    I love s’mores. I can’t wait to try this out. My best friend is sending me a box of vegan marshmallows trials that she needs me to dispose of for her, so this will definitely be added to the list of things to make!

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  • Anouk June 14, 2013 at 2:28 AM

    The shoes! I have kinda difficult feet so need customized running shoes + insoles. You don’t have any issues running with those barefoot shoes? Must be a great experience! Except when the forest is very muddy maybe…

  • shelly (cookies and cups) June 14, 2013 at 5:29 AM

    Obsessed with this!

  • Rosie June 14, 2013 at 9:09 AM

    This icecream sounds immense! And I love your writing, too!

    http://www.ciderwithrosie.com

  • Lindsay Frélot June 14, 2013 at 11:04 AM

    Awesome. Love your blog and your writing. It’s so real and there is simply not enough realness around these days. Nice to know I’m not the only one who has thoughts like those! :) Thank you! The ice cream sounds AH-Mazing! Will have to de-virginize my new ice cream maker with it.
    Lindsay

  • Eleanor June 14, 2013 at 1:20 PM

    I think I love you.
    P.S. My favorite words are douche, douche bucket (because there’s more in that than a bag), douchery. I just have to remember to stop mouthing them at people when they are looking right at me.

    • Claire June 17, 2013 at 1:40 PM

      I use douche bucket too! and butt-fart, but that is unrelated.

  • Alyssa and Carla June 15, 2013 at 9:02 AM

    This looks AMAZING. And we’re all dying to know where you got that beautiful wooden ice cream scoop, please share!

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  • Sally June 16, 2013 at 10:41 PM

    BEST blog post I’ve read in a long time. Hilarious and so well written! Love everything.

  • Claire June 17, 2013 at 1:38 PM

    First time I’ve read one of your posts. Consider yourself bookmarked. I just fell in blog-love with you.

  • Alexa June 19, 2013 at 8:24 AM

    Haha. Just found your blog and almost died laughing at your post. The ice cream looks divine, all of your photos are just stunning.

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  • Bethan June 21, 2013 at 7:04 AM

    Beautiful photography!

    I go running at 5am here too, but the most I have seen is two male pheasants fighting it out in the middle of the road! Not that exciting.

  • Carmen June 23, 2013 at 10:10 AM

    oh my gosh. i think i finally just found a real reason to buy an ice cream machine.

  • Trisha @ Vignette June 24, 2013 at 8:58 AM

    I can’t decide which I love more – the story or the recipe! Hilarious and delicious!

  • Laura June 24, 2013 at 9:16 AM

    JUST LETTING YOU KNOW: A friend made this for dessert last night and it was holy-shit-gotdamn-delicious. We were singing your praises. That is all. xo

    • Ashlae June 25, 2013 at 9:04 PM

      This is my favorite comment ever. EVER EVER EVER.

  • Cate @ Chez CateyLou June 24, 2013 at 9:48 AM

    After a 5am run, an ice cream cone is definitely an appropriate breakfast! This looks so delicious! I could use one on this hot NYC day!!

  • Ashley June 25, 2013 at 6:26 AM

    You are simply THE BEST!!!! The story, this ice cream….the ice cream!!! Oh, and the photos. Nailed it.

  • Helen June 26, 2013 at 7:07 AM

    Yummy I love chocolate and ice-cream!! What a great combo thanks

  • Irina @ wandercrush June 26, 2013 at 10:51 AM

    Your ethereal photos juxtaposed with ‘HEY ASSWAD’ made me smile. Between all the drooling, that is!

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  • Priya June 30, 2013 at 8:30 AM

    Deeeelicious! It’s the first taste of ice cream my dairy intolerant daughter has had and she enjoyed it so much she’s eaten her bit and is now harassing her sister for hers! The only issue I had was my ice cream maker (Kitchenaid attachment) did not like the addition of the add ins. But I mixed them by hand and it was just fine!

  • Elizabeth Clarke June 30, 2013 at 5:07 PM

    OMG! This looks amazing!

  • Heidi - Apples Under My Bed June 30, 2013 at 10:27 PM

    Love love love this post. So entertaining. Ace looking recipe, too.
    Heidi xo

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  • Kelly July 5, 2013 at 3:31 PM

    Cannot wait to make this! Will be my first stab at vegan ice cream. I have a silly question though, is one sheet of graham crackers = 4 crackers? When recipes call for X amount of crackers, I’m unsure if they mean a whole sheet, half sheet, or a quarter sheet = a cracker. And thought of this post as I kneed my husband while getting out of bed to run this morning, ha, poor guys.

  • Heather July 6, 2013 at 6:51 AM

    OH my goodness! These look insanely good! Found it via pinterest.

  • Laura July 6, 2013 at 1:29 PM

    Made this for the 4th! Crazy good! The coconut milk is beyond fabulous! (And, in full disclosure, I just busted the side out of a plastic storage container trying to get my spoon into the leftovers…which were VERY frozen!)

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